On the occasion of Living Another Year I present to you: An Archive of Greta Hamilton’s Past by greta hamilton by margaret (greta) hamilton. As my friend Clay always says: We will never be this young, we will never be this beautiful, and we will never be this happy again.
Manifesto for Masochists and Friends of Chronic Masturbators
Destroy all relics of your past self
Manifest Plainness
Never let anyone love you
Never let anyone take your picture
Never go home
Eat so much at every meal that you can’t sleep
Stay exactly where you are forever
Cilantro
I pin a poem to my fridge between a receipt for tortillas and a New Yorker magnet. It says: Refried beans and guacamole on the porch. I’ve never been more depressed eating cilantro in my life.
Medieval Christian Recipe for Spaghetti
Saint Margaret was swallowed by a dragon with her sword in hand. After three days, she tore a hole through the dragon’s belly. This is an allegory for Jesus.
I make spaghetti. Suck the noodles one by one. When I’m finished, I watch my favourite porn, lesbian fucks brunette while boyfriend in other room. After twelve minutes, I fall asleep. This is an allegory for sex.
Saint Margaret wears the skin of the dragon. She wraps herself with flesh still heavy with blood. She may have been swallowed, but she turns that dragon inside out.
I make spaghetti sauce. A mouthful of beef, a pinch of salt, a mouthful of cream. It fills my belly like Jesus.
A non-exhaustive list of healing methods I’ve attempted
CUPPING, ACUPUNCTURE, MASSAGE, HERBALISM, COGNITIVE BEHAVIOURAL THERAPY, EXERCISE, ORGANIC EATING, INTUITIVE EATING, REALITY TV, SMOKING, HORMONE BALANCE, SAUNA, BEET JUICE, LIVER CLEANSE, HOME ENEMA, DETOX TEA, HAIRCUTS, MORE SEX, LESS SEX, LEAVING, DRINKING, QUITTING SMOKING, FINDING GOD,
Yours in microdose,
xx